Picture the glistening water. Hear the overly aggressive calls of the seagulls. Feel the breeze tickle your cheeks and the jealous stares boring into your skin as you cruise into port with your sup...
Our Pit Viper designer was invited to test out the newest top secret lightspeed travel tech. Now he won’t stop whispering about omniscient space elves and how man was not meant to hold such power. ...
People say it’s dangerous to live life looking through rose colored glasses. We say fuck ‘em. Why can’t every day be great? Get closer to John Lennon than ever before with a pink mirror lens and cl...
I’m a little kumquat short and stout! These are my handles, these are my fully adjustable performance enhancing features. The Kumquats are polarized, rocking an orange frame with a unique shimmer t...
I’m a little kumquat short and stout! These are my handles, these are my fully adjustable performance enhancing features. The Kumquats are polarized, rocking an orange frame with a unique shimmer t...
Samantha from third period said her cousin’s older brother told her if you light a candle, prepare an apple pie from scratch, and say “Hail Sagan” three times in the bathroom mirror, the man himse...
Gold, our primal instincts draw us to this element. its Universal:
“The secret knowledge”, according to the Illuminati, is the story of creation. According to this belief, the Annunaki, an alien ...
Gold, our primal instincts draw us to this element. its Universal:
“The secret knowledge”, according to the Illuminati, is the story of creation. According to this belief, the Annunaki, an alien r...
Time to get executive with it. This Double Wide pair gives you a little more room to demand respect and authority while facing your subordinates head on in hand to hand combat. A lighter tinted bot...
Lightning doesn’t strike the same place twice. But thunder can, right on your face. Feel the electricity without crossing your jumper cables again. Dude call AAA next time if that’s seriously how ...
WARNING: Do NOT try to eat this product. The pastel hues sent Ryan from the warehouse to the ER when he mistook the lavender and soft mint colors for fruit. Keep away from babies, dogs, and Pit Vi...
You know that Jetski sitting in the garage at your uncle’s lake house? The one he won't let you touch? The purple one? We’ve got a pair of Ellipticals that were modeled after it, so you don’t have...
The official workout cocktail of sunglasses.
This protein shake alternative calls for:
2 shots, aged rum
3 tablespoons, hydroxycut
Extracted milk of citrus
31 fluid oz, raw pork
5 ice cubes, l...
His most famous work "David", features a hand-sculpted micropenis and his weapon of choice when fighting crime is the Bo-Staff.
To find out which combined legends we named this pair after, add 20 ...
Which of the famous Dons did we name this pair after? We’ll leave it to you to decide. But let’s just say only one knows how to get absolutely nastry with the bo staffs. This classic purple and gre...
We cracked the code on how to grow the Crushes by an amazing 12mm! Plenty of sunshine, fertile ground, and about 69 pennies. If you figure out how to rhyme a word with orange please contact us imme...
Not everyone gets it right the first time. But we do. Six years ago the world had never heard of “Double Wide'' Pit Vipers, but they were blessed with the option to buy the Cosmos. Now you can have...
Black and neon splatter; a classic Pit Viper design now with advanced 2000s Technology. These shades are Z87+ Safety Rated and 100% UV Protective so you can explore the cosmos with confidence. If s...
We don't let vegetarians make the rules for a reason.
It's a 2000! These bad boys feature an ANSI Z87+ Safety Rating, roomier fit, and redesigned ear, nose, and turbo adjustment areas.
We love a good Cannonball because they’re guaranteed to get everyone wet!Make sure to tell others your personal space is now known as the splash zone.These bad boys sport a yellow mirrored lens, wh...
From Susquehanna to San Marcos, from Boston to Blacksburg, there’s just something about maroon and gold that gets people going. And by god when I look at these things all I can see are turkey legs ...
This bucks got a boxy shape, a beautiful coat, and the biggest rack you’ve ever seen. Just like your hot cousin everyone says isn’t “actually related by blood.” All the Z87+ Rated goodness you know...
Set aside your moisture wicking microphones, stop blowing in each other’s cartridges, and listen up. Pit Vipers aren’t just for real sports any more.
Our first ever blue blocking lens reduces eye...
Ever wonder if your kids have the same school experiences that you did? Like do they still wheel out that lil boxy TV on days your teacher is hungover, and throw on Cosmos? With these XS Pit Vipers...
